Amazed – Anxiety…

You know, I have always said, God is big enough to handle the questions people have… however, in the last few days, I started to question if I really matter to Him, if He is as Big as He says, the very basic foundations of my relationship with Him, for the first time in my life, I truly struggled to believe. However, I repeatedly asked Him to show up. Just show up, that is all I wanted, just to know my husband mattered. I just wanted Him to give me concrete peace about His love for my husband and his health.

You see, Andrew struggles with anxiety, and as the Word says, my God is not one of disorder but of peace. Well, if He is the God of Peace, He cannot also be the giver of anxiety – So I have struggled with the fact that the peace that was one there, has left, has come again and how as left once more… so I was frustrated with my God. I am frustrated with our situation, I am frustrated for my husband, notice I said for, NOT AT!

I spent a long time last night just sitting in His presence, asking Him to speak to me, surround me with confidence that we, His children really do matter, the petty things that cause us all stress matter to Him. I, as His daughter just wanted to know I had not been abandoned, nor had my husband.

Thru the prayers of a few special people in my life, I have seen differently. I know, once again, that my God is Bigger than anything we might face. Thank you to those people, Jenny, Tara, your prayers and loving words have been used to once again transform my heart. The Lord has used you to refine me.

I am sure of very few things, but this I know. My God is big enough for all my questions, concerns, stresses and sometimes frustration. My God is big enough to handle my frustration and He will show up in our time of need, but one thing I have learned, He will always show up, regardless of if we are in need. He came, sat with me, spoke to me and loved on me in a way only a Father could, who truly understands the needs of His daughter.

Lord, You are good. Your mercy endures forever. My eyes have seen, my ears have heard the power of your love. I have experienced your peace, I have been assured of your love and I have faith, even in the darkest moments, that you are BIG. I love you! Lord, flood my husband with peace. Strip him of all anxiety. Your word specically says we can ask for specific needs. Nothing is too insignificant for you. So, here it is… Cover my husband, my partner, my son’s father and my best friend with your peace. I will ask firmly that your presence wrap around him so Satan may have no hold on him. I rebuke the feelings of anxiety and I beg for your peace, show up in an forgettable way, change his life, bless him beyond message and give him the strength to fight for peace. Protect him, protect his heart and keep him safe, he is so important to me, so I will trust he is in good hands. I love you.


One Response

  1. He is big enough. He’s even big enough for you to question whether or not He is big enough… I miss you friend. Sure wish I could meet you in Santa Fe.

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