Two Directions, One Master

So I have been back at work for 2 months now, I am finally getting into a routine. I get up at almost the same time everyday, regardless of how many times I hit the snooze button. My morning routine is almost always the same, I feed Isaac, change his clothes and put him back to bed because he normally sleeps or plays in the crib while I get ready for work. Then I let the dog out, make the bed, put Isaac in his car seat, put the dog in her kennel and get dinner organized. Now, by that I mean, I either pull it out of the freezer or I throw it in the crock pot. Side note: if you have not tried Supper Solutions, you should, it has made my life so much easier.  

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So after all of that, Isaac and I are out the door to Nana’s. It is about 9:30 when everything starts to get busy at work, but on days like today, for some reason, work seems to fade into the background and I leave mentally. I find myself staring out the window wanting to be at the park with Isaac and the dog. It is not like he can even really play at the park, he is only 4 months old. But there is a pull on my heart that is like nothing I have ever experience. The best way to describe it would be as if I was being pulled in two different directions. I love my job, but I love my kiddo more. I enjoy the people I work with, but I enjoy my family time more, and I love the fact that with two incomes, life is a little less stressful but I would give it all up for the peacefulness of the days that are filled with laundry, basic house chores, park visits and long afternoon naps.  I rest in the assurance that I am right where the Lord wants me. How do I know that you might ask? Well, because He told me to come back to work. He made His point clear and His instruction obvious. So why would I wrestle with this, if I know I am where He wants me, why is it hard to be obedient? I am not saying the Lord told me to choose my work over my son, but I am saying that He placed me on a path that is challenging and is making my walk with Him stronger. If you want to know the depth of trust one must have in the Lord to leave their child everyday, I would ask any working mom. Isaac loves his time with Nana and Nana loves her time with him. But I miss him, my desire to be with him is so strong, but my obedience to the Lord is stronger. 

Isn’t the point of life, and most of all, my walk with the Lord, to be challenged, changed and more devoted to the Lord with every breath I take? Besides, my son technically is not mine, he is the Lord’s, I have just been entrusted to care for him, so I will follow the instructions of the Lord, however difficult it may be.  

Just as Abraham was willing to lay his Isaac down before the Lord, I too, give my Isaac to Him today, and in the days that follow, not matter how hard it might be.  


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