Back to life as I knew it…

Well 2007 has come and gone. But it has been a fabulous adventure. This is my first week back to work since Isaac was born. I have been off for 16 weeks, so seeing my friends from work has been so much fun. Our lunch dates have been filled with laughter and I have enjoyed listening to their stories about how the past 4 months have been. Isaac is staying with Nana (Andrew’s Mom) while we are at work so my heart is at peace with leaving him. I thought I would have a harder time returning to work, but I have to say, I am surprised. I have enjoyed the last three days. Isaac is sleeping thru the night which I know is a big help. But I have really enjoyed my time at work. Things are busy at the hospital so that helps time go by faster and since Isaac came into the world, I have experienced things I never thought I would and found joy in the simplest of things. 

I know this might be cheesy, but at the end of the day on Monday, I realized it was our first real family night. Monday morning I managed to get myself ready for work, Isaac fed and changed, I remembered to let the dog out and back in, and I even got dinner in the crock pot. With Monday morning such a success, I was so excited to get home. Andrew picked up Isaac and I met them at home. I changed into my comfy clothes and we ate dinner together. We played and cuddled with Isaac and put him to bed and then snuggled in like two old married people, meaning before 10pm. It was so nice and peaceful, something I will cherish forever!

You know, I never thought I would be a really private person. Those of you, who know me, you know that I am pretty open about almost everything. But now that I have returned to work, I find myself a little more guarded about what I say regarding my family. It is almost like I have a secret, meaning Isaac, which gives me so much joy and I just want to keep it all to myself. I want to soak in the joy I feel.  Maybe it is because the smallest things are so special, and I have not yet found the words to describe my motherhood experiences or it might just be my fear of being one of those silly mom’s that wears the tee shirts with their kids picture on the front. I don’t have a cheesy shirt, but I do have a few pictures with me, nicely places at my desk. It is when I just stare at his picture, nicely framed on my desk, which brings me feelings I can hardly put into words.

Right after Andrew and I got married and we received our wedding pictures, I remember looking thru them all and I could remember exactly how I was feeling and my emotions sometimes got the best of me. I can remember exactly how excited I was when I look at the pictures just before the ceremony began. I remember what my dress felt like against my skin, as I look at the pictures of me getting ready. I can remember the taste of my tears as I look at the picture of my daddy and I dancing, both of us had tears streaming down our face. And now, as I look at pictures of Isaac, I can almost touch him. I can smell the softness of his hair as I look at the picture on my desk. I remember staring into Andrew’s eyes in the OR just after Isaac was born, watching him cry and hearing our baby cry for the first time, as I look at the picture of the three of us taken just after Isaac was born. Who knew pictures could transform someone so deeply.

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First family photo

 

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Isaac 1 Week Old

 

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Isaac 2 Weeks Old

 

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Isaac 3 Weeks Old – 1st Bath

 

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Isaac 1 Month Old

 

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Isaac 2 Months Old

 

I know I have come back to the same job, I sit at the same desk and I work with and for the same people. But I am not the same, life will never be as I once knew it to be. And I am at peace with that, looking to the future with an excited heart and so in love I cannot put it into words. I will write more and am sorry I have not been a faithful blogger 🙂 but hey – mommy duty calls! 🙂

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