To Flip or not to Flip that is the Question…

What does one do when they realize that a dream is dying? How do they go on knowing that life will never be as it once was? What happens when the heart is broken beyond repair? Those are the questions that I want answers to…. Those are the questions that I am spending time discovering the answers to. I think heartbreak is a reality. More so, I think change is a reality. And I am the one person who hates change. I remember when I was no older than 10 and I graduated gymnastics levels which required me to change coaches. I was so upset, simply because I had to experience change. I was use to Elisa, I did not know the ways of Jennifer. I did not want to find out either. I wanted to stay with Elisa, I wanted to see her every day for the remainder of my gymnastics career. Soon after my time with Jennifer, I saw the level of my talent increase, I was able to stand on the balance beam and have the courage to do a standing back tuck, if I had stayed with Elisa, I would never know the joy and pain that came from learning something new, from experienced changed.  

I feel like I am standing back up on that balance beam, with only two issues. First, is to get down, to quit, to give up, and turn in my wounds. Second, I have the option to throw my feet over my head while trying not to split the bean and land with it between my legs. I come to a favorite scripture of mine, one that speaks beyond measure… 

Ironically, my mother text messaged me the same scripture…  

Romans 4:7&8 

“Blessed are they
      whose transgressions are forgiven,
      whose sins are covered.
 Blessed is the man
      whose sin the Lord will never count against him.”

Interesting verse, regardless of my decision, to stay on the beam and dare to be different, to go against what people think or the get off and remain the normal girl that everyone has an opinion about, but expects to do what everyone else wants, rather than what she wants.  I will be forgiven, my sins are covered, nothing separated me from Jesus, regardless. I am blessed because the sins that haunt me are forgiven, they will not be counted against me. For that, I am at peace… Praises be!


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