The place where nothing matters…

We all have that one place where the world seems to fade away. Mine is a unique place, one that smells of chalk dust and usually has some kind of music playing. That place is where I spent 15 years of my life. It is a comfort to know that I feel at home there. I often reflect on the moments of truth that I came to within those walls. I spent time looking thru old pictures, I added my favorites. I use to spend hours each day working out, doing my routines, one after another, until they seemed perfect. I could leave everything else behind, I could forget about school, friends, boys and even family issues. In the gym, it was just me, if I lost focus for one moment, things could for ever be changed. The thrill of learning a new flight pass on the balance bean is like nothing I have ever experienced, or finally nailing the floor pass after months of landing on my butt was the biggest accomplishment to date.  

As time has passed I often find myself saddened by the thought of those nights never happening again. The long work outs followed by a good run when it was snowing is something that I can still feel, I can smell the air, hear my feet run along the road and my heart races at the thought of finishing in good time. But it is a rough reality to think that it is time to grow up and leave that life behind, only to have the memories/pictures to rely on.  

My hands are not callused anymore, they do not bleed with accomplishment and they no longer are dried out because of chalk. Instead of doing giants, they spend the day typing and the nights cooking. Rather than doing handstands they are consumed with laundry.  

My feet are not blistered and broken anymore, they do not burn after the satisfaction of a good workout, and they do not spend hours in ice baths after an uneven bar routine. Instead they are covered with close toed high heels with toe nails that are a nicely painted share of red with no signs of long nights in the gym.

 Do I really want to grow up and face the world? My answer today is no, today is a cold fall day in which I have fond memories of life in the gym. Fall was the start competition season, the time of year when everything else took second place. I have always loved fall, something about the weather, the holiday season or just the memories of gymnastics competitions. Since I have to grow up, continue to work, make a home and hopefully raise a family, I will continue to smile at the thought of my care free days in the gym. I hope you find your place of simplicity and smile when your mind drifts that way.


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