Lunch Break…

I just returned from lunch and I must admit, the work day is often unfulfilling, and I think I have figured out why. Even though the average day of this working woman is complex and exciting all in one, my true desire is to have children and be able to poor into them while staying at home while they are young. I must admit that I have learned some wonderful life lessons while spending time in the working world and I have enjoyed the extra income, a woman who loves to shop must also be willing to work. That I understand, however, nothing makes me smile like the thought of taking my kids to the park, or the library. I recently had lunch with a dear friend and was able to walk through Wal-Mart while holding her precious baby. Something inside me was fulfilled. I loved the little one that was in my arms, I enjoyed watching her sleep and I must admit that even at her fussy moments, she still had a hold upon my heart. I also had an opportunity to hang out with older kids, we made Smore’s, gathered sticks for the fire and of course played several games of tag. Now the older kids were so fun to play with, their laughter softened my heart and the way their eyes sparkled when they laughed brought tears to my eyes at the very thought of the night coming to an end. I may be a softy for children, but that is my point. I spent five years in college trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, and in a total of 8 hours, it hit me. I want to be a mom. I want to be surrounded by kids, I want to see them grow up and learn to read. I want to take pictures as they experience their first school play and I want to stand proud when they graduate and eventually get married. That is what I want to do with my future. Some might think it is pointless or that I wasted my college education because I will never be fulfilled with the daily duties of a career woman. My heart lies within the home, with the freshly made cookies and the home made dinner. Yes there are tedious tasks like any other “job’. Laundry is not my favorite, I hate the smell of trash or anything associated with trash and it takes everything I have to vacuum the stairs. But given all of that, the chance to spend a few hours with little ones makes everything worth it. So where do I go in the mean time, back to my desk in my office, with the motivation to work with the best of my abilities knowing that one day my income will aid in the result of paying off bills, so that when I do have babies, I can stay home. So that is my motivation for days like today, that is what keeps me going, otherwise, I would consider myself lost.

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