Addiction

The things that I am addicted to always seen to amaze me. Addictions are things we think we cannot live without, for example, I cannot go one day without caffeine, the morning routine starts off at 8am with a nice cup of Starbucks hot chocolate, a few hours later, I indulge in a Mountain Dew, then comes lunch which includes a Diet Pepsi and then later in the afternoon, around 3 I have to have another Diet Pepsi.  I love to shop, I have to, notice I said have to, I enjoy clothes, shoes and hand bags. I have even come to fall in love with shopping over the internet. I recently purchased an Ipod, which in turn, causes me to shop for songs, at one dollar a piece, I can drop some money with the best of them. It is amazing what a dollar will buy these days.   In addition to caffeine and shopping I am addicted to TV. Now, I love certain shows, I record a series of shows, in which if I miss any of them I seem to be cranky. My week does not seem complete without the presence of these shows. Why do they matter so much, because I thrive off of them. Because I am addicted.   I am not one who has experienced with any type of drugs, I think I can count a total of maybe five times that I smoked cigarettes in college, and yet I am strongly addicted to more than caffeine. But do any of the things that I am addicted to really matter? Do they change the course of my life? Do they impact the lives of those around me for the better? Or do they just bring me comfort? And what is the real meaning of comfort? Does my comfort come before the comfort of others? Am I willing to give up my addictions to spend time with others? Am I willing to put me second or even last, in the hopes of impacting the lives of others?  I do not believe that the purpose of life is solely for my benefit. I do not believe that I am the one thing that matters most in my life. And I do not believe that any of the things I am so called “addicted” to are things I cannot live without. There is one thing that and one thing only that I cannot live without. My life thrives off this addiction, I want to pursue it with relentless passion, I need it to survive, without it I am merely nothing. I can say with confidence that this addiction is more than a self serving addiction, but I am always amazed that there are some who think my addiction is nothing more than a personal need to feel important, loved, surrounded and protected, but the truth is my addiction is that of Jesus, that of eternal life and unconditional grace and mercy.   

Some die for sex, drugs, alcohol, and possessions, their addictions. But I am not sure I could persue my addiction with the passion and relentlessness of those that give up it all for their addictions. Only time will tell, and until then my one true addiction will remain strong and forever life changing.

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