Catching Up…

I know, I know, I’ve been gone for a while… what can I say, life is just nuts… a fun nuts, but nuts… so here is a little update and some pictures…

May is a fabulous month in our house, it is the beginning of “spring” which means, I get to clean every inch of our house… yes I actually love doing it, so I have been cleaning, re-arranging and re-cleaning – so once everything is done and pretty – I promise I will post pictures. I have moved tons of stuff around and cleaned and I tell ya, it almost feels like a brand new home… I have not spent the entire month cleaning so far… I did get out and do some sister shopping… Isaac and Cede loved hanging out together in ONE stroller… I tell ya, we made Grandma Cherie proud that day…. We ate Cinnabons and shopped until our feet hurt.

Besides cleaning, the month of May is the anniversary month for hubs and I, yep, we have been married 5 years on the 22^nd. Man, time sure does go by fast… We are planning a little vacation, just the two of us, over the weekend and we could not be more excited. We are counting down the days – 11 days from today to be exact the vacation will being…

Mother’s Day could not have been more perfect. We went to see Grandpa Marty and Grandma Cheryl for dinner on Saturday, we lit the fire pit and had smores… we played on the swings in the back yard, Isaac got a swing for our front porch so you can count on some pictures of that coming next week. Sunday my beloved hubby cooked a fabulous breakfast, and let me sleep in until 9am… He even took Isaac to the store with him… Isaac woke me up with a kiss and a jump on the bed and we all enjoyed a tasty breakfast. Then we had lunch with Nana Starla, Papa Roy and Mama Pitta (Roy’s Mom Ruby) and mama got to take another nap. I tell ya, it was the most perfect day.

Outside of life as a mama, work keeps me busy. You know, work long hours, play long hours right? Well, here are some of my most favorite pictures in the world…. Enjoy!

Isaac loves to open the cabinets and “help” feed the dog. I just love his little diaper sticking out of his pants, is that not the cutest thing ever?

Mama took Isaac swimming and he loved it – hopefully he will become a fish and just love the water – I think we are due for another trip to the pool shortly…

Isaac watches people walk by the house all the time. He loves to look out the window, well, he loves to play with the blinds, but mama pretends he is “looking” rather than playing with the dangerous choke hazard…

A beloved friend sent me this today…

TODAY’S WORD from Joel and Victoria

In Genesis, the Bible tells us that God breathed life into Adam. Not only does God breathe life into our physical bodies, He breathes life into our dreams and desires. He breathes new life and inspiration into your heart. I believe, even right now, He’s breathing a bigger vision into your spirit. One scripture says, “It’s not by our might. It’s not by our power. But it’s by the breath of Almighty God.” As God breathes on your life, things are going to get easier. Negative situations are going to turn around. You’re going to have wisdom beyond your years. You’re going to have a resolve that will not give up, an attitude that refuses to quit.

Everywhere you go, you need to imagine the most powerful force in the universe is blowing in your direction. Believe that His favor and inspiration are on your life. Look for those opportunities that God will use to take you further than you dreamed. As you trust that God is breathing in your direction, you’ll see His hand of grace and favor moving you forward in victory in every area of your life!

So if I am reading this correctly, the One who created the Heavens and the Earth has placed HIS favor and inspiration on my life. The opportunties of the so called failed dream is an opportunity for Him to take me even further than I have ever dreamed. I love the part when he talks about when God breathes on my life and how things are going to get easier, the negative situations that have come up are going to turn around and I am going to have wisdom beyond myyears. And the best part of it all is that I am going to have a resolve that will not give up, an attitude that refuses to quit. I think I will walk thru any kind of heartache for just a simple wiff of His breath.

Can I please get a “Praises Be” – man He is good. All the time, He is good. My GOD IS GOOD I say – HE IS GOOD.

Answers, Peace and Kissing

Yesterday I asked three questions, after much conversation and plenty of reading I seem to have a few answers. I am surprised at how the Lord works at times. He just keeps surprising me… So here is a little background… there was a decision to be made in our house that impacted our finances. Hubs and I talked about it for days, I actually think a little over a week. Well, it turns out that we disagreed, which I know never happens in any other home other than ours. He really felt like proceeding was not something we could do in good faith, and I frankly just wanted the item on the other end, I just wanted the “dream”. So, at the end of the day, my heart was broken because the “dream” was not something we could truly say had been blessed by the Lord, and man, I don’t want anything that He has not blessed. But in reality, in the moment, I wanted it. Well, we talked, I yelled, we prayed, I cried, we were mad at each other, I went on a small shopping spree to make my self “feel” better, we kissed, we stared at each other, we laughed, we met each other right where we were, I was disappointed, he was looking out for the best interest of our family and together we found Jesus, a resolution and peace. Man, I am so glad I married a man of integrity. Seriously, when I tell people I married him because Jesus said I should, I mean it, Jesus gave me a man that could deal with my stubborn heart, my passionate way of doing life and my strong willed “woman-ness”… He gave me exactly what I need, He knew hubs and I were have this “talk” long before we were even born. Is that not the most amazing thing ever…

So needless to say, the rug was not pulled out from under me, the furniture was just re-arranged. We have not given up on the “dream”, it is just not God’s timing right now. My heart ache was healed with submission, both to my God and my husband. Thru prayer and humility, I have now learned what it means to be married to a Godly man, who truly has the best interest of his family as his priority. It is hard, sometimes it comes with tears and lots of “talking”, but it ends with peace, joy, the feeling of making our Father proud and lots of kissing.  It was a good day.

Jesus, I love you and praise you! Enough said. Amen.

Just a few questions…

1. How does one deal with life when the rug gets pulled out from under them?

2. How does one deal with the reality of giving up a dream?

3. How does one deal with such a heart ache that it leaves one weak in the knees?

Wordless Wednesday

Spring Cleaning…

Today would have been the day that I received this sticky note from Jesus…

 

 

This sticky note would probably be found clipped to the soap or shampoo in the shower. It leads me to this passage from Hebrew 9:22: In fact, the law requires that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.

The first thought that comes to mind is simple: If I were to clean my bathroom with blood it would create more of a mess, am I right? Just picture it, it’s towards the end of the week, Isaac is in bed and Andrew is playing the Wii. It is in these moment that I take time for myself. I love to clean, it kind of relaxes me in a strange way.

So I head up to the bathroom and under the sink is my carefully organized cleaning caddy. Complete with everything I should need to clean the bathroom in one fowl swoop. There are sparkling white rags, paper towels, Windex, Soft Scrub, Scrubbing Bubbles, my beloved Scrubbing Bubbles Toilet wand, Swiffer Dusters, Dusting Spray, Dusting clothes and finally, a toothbrush, just in case something needs more attention than normal.

I always start with the sinks. Because my husband is in love with the electric razor and I am a woman, we tend to have little bits of hair on the counters and if you ever just get right to it with a little water and a rag, you will notice that all you do is smear the hair all over the place, so a quick dust with the Swiffer Duster and we are in business. Then we move onto a little Soft Scrub, a nice bright white cleaning rag and some warm water and we are off, ready to rock and roll. In no time at all, the sinks are done, the counter top is sparkling and we are ready to move onto the bathtub, then the toilet and finally we finish the grand project with a little Windex on the mirrors, a mop and a bucket of soap and water for the floor and it is like a brand new bathroom. I can do it all in an hour tops.

It makes me happy just thinking about it, it makes me want to run home, right now in the middle of the day and give it some quick love. Now, I love anything that is freshly clean, soft tenderly warm right out of the dryer clean bed sheets, soft fluffy clean towels or even a clean pair of socks, it just feels right. As long as I have clean socks and underwear, I swear I could go for a few days in the wild…  Clean means something to me, it speaks to me, it makes my heart at peace. It sparks something so deep within my soul that I want to obtain that feeling over and over again, hence me getting a little stressed when too much time has gone by between house cleaning weekends.

But if the law requires everything to be cleansed with blood, the results would be different. It would be a messier process, it would take longer to get the white tub white again, my fluffy towels or beloved bath robe would get a stain or two and the process would not be a meticulously planned and executed routine as outline above with great attention to detail  If you don’t know by now, some might say I am a little OCD.

The “cleaning by blood process” would be hard work. Lots of frustration, lots of washing and re-washing. Lots of sparkling white cleaning rags would be ruined and I would at some point, want to stop washing and re-washing and just kick the wall out, exposing the bathroom to the world, bring in the hose and turn the water on. I would watch the blood stained water run down the side of the house and down the street. But then I would be left with a huge hole in the side of our home, which I am sure would not be the intended result. As I was thinking about this “cleaning by blood process” I came across another passage, this one from Exekiel 36:32-34. “‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says: On the day I cleanse you from all your sins, I will resettle your towns, and the ruins will be rebuilt. The desolate land will be cultivated instead of lying desolate in the sight of all who pass through it. They will say, “This land that was laid waste has become like the garden of Eden; the cities that were lying in ruins, desolate and destroyed, are now fortified and inhabited.” Then the nations around you that remain will know that I the LORD have rebuilt what was destroyed and have replanted what was desolate. I the LORD have spoken, and I will do it.’  This passage can be summed up by one little but BIG word: WORK. The resettling of a town, the rebuilding of ruins, cultivating desolate land, all of which sounds like a lot of work. But we must not over look the promise at the end. “I the LORD have spoken, and I will do it.” It could not be more simply put.

Now comes the part where I need to apply the scripture to me and the love note I received…

It is time to clean house, be washed in the blood, hang it all out there for Him to see, rebuild ones brokenness, cultivate desolate dreams and resettle the inner soul. But yet, cling to the promise the work will be done, the rebuilding and restoring will happen and it will be a success. Never the less, it still sounds like a lot of work, am I right? Sometimes I believe the sticky notes the Abba leaves me are not always warm, fuzzy, romantic ones. There are some that require work, and some that speak the truth I don’t want to hear, however, all of them bring me to Him, my Abba. They all have the same author penning them, they all are personally written for me and only me at the very time I need them. They are hand picked messages from the King to his Daughter. And I would want nothing more.

So, exactly what areas need cleaning?  Everything. Just like every part of the bathroom needs attention and requires different cleaning supplies, every part of me requires extensive attention to detail and often times, several different “supplies”.  The supplies can be people He has brought into my life to help dig out my dirt, or passages of scripture He has placed on my heart to help in the restoration process or dare I say it a conversation with my husband that challenges my wisdom and knowledge of His good word.  All of the supplies have one thing in common, they are centered around Him, can be support by Scripture and are sometimes hard to hear. The personal process takes longer than the bathroom process, but the result is the same. Once deeply cleaned, the bathroom is like new, rebuilt with organized towels stacked neatly in the linen closet,  cultivated, alive, restored with by the fresh aroma of lemon Soft Scrub and clean air, the items on the counter top are resettled, put back in place and life is good. Well, the same goes for me; my heart is rebuilt, my mind is cultivated with a renewed wisdom and my focus is resettled. But the journey; well it was hard, it took a lot of washing and re-washing, at one point I drug  Him right in and watched the blood run right over me, covering me from head to two, it was bloody, I am blood stained, yet I walk away completely clean.

Praises Be Unto you Sweet Abba. I love you, you leave me breathless. Wash me clean, stretch me daily, challenge me, renew me and refine me. May all the glory be yours. Amen

College might not matter all that much…

Tonight was Good Friday church. And true to its name, it was good, really good. In the middle of a powerful and one of my most beloved songs, “The Old Rugged Cross” something came to me. I was overwhelmed with what was consuming my attention, in the middle of my most beloved worship song, I started to list all of the things I wanted to give Isaac.

You know, a happy home, loving parents, yadda yadda yadda… The list continued…

1.       I want to give Isaac a yard to play in.

2.       I want to give Isaac swim lessons.

3.       I want to give Isaac a good education.

4.       I want to give Isaac the ability to go to college.

5.       I want to give Isaac….

It was then I feel to my knees. I want to give Isaac Jesus. I want him to know the old rugged cross that has changed my life. The sweat stained brow that held the crown of thorns. I want to give Isaac a deeply rooted truth, one submerged in scripture.  I want to give Isaac the feeling that consumes me when a praise song comes over the radio, you know, the turn it up and sing until your voice is sore, kind of feeling. I want to give him Jesus.

That’s it. Nothing else, just Jesus. The college education became less important, the yard within the fense that outlines my dream home does not matter. The swim lessons I stress about are no big deal, the items I feel like I ”have” to give him really don’t matter, they will not make a lasting impact on his life, so they don’t really matter however, his life will be saved by giving him Jesus. A picture came to my mind, one of me on my knees at the foot of the cross, laying my baby at the base, where the dirt and wood met. Me physically handing my baby over to him. I guess to give him Jesus, so I can give Jesus to him…

Jesus, my sweet Jesus, he is yours. I am yours, we are yours. What we have is yours, all we have has been given to us by your hands, the very hands that were nailed to the cross. I love you and praise you with every breath. Amen.

Today is a good day…

Today is a good day, not because it is Thursday, which marks the second half of the week. Nor because it is actually spring like weather outside, cool in the morning and warm in the afternoon. Today is a good day, because this morning, bright and early I met with Jesus. We had a great conversation.

Today we happened to talk about the very last time he ate with his 12 friends around a rather large table. So see, today is Maundy Thursday, the Thursday before Easter, and it is today  that commemorates the Last Supper Jesus shared with the Apostles. It is the fifth day of Holy Week, and from what we talked about in our time together this morning, it was a busy day.

On this day four events took place: Jesus washed the Disciples’ Feet, the Last Supper was prepared, enjoyed and cleaned up (some one had to do those dishes), then there is the agony of  my Savior in the Garden of Gethsemane, and His betrayal by a friend, a trusted companion, one of those very men at the table, Judas. Yep it was a busy day.

But the thing that strikes me the most, at 10:28 am today is the fact that even Jesus had a busy day. Think about it. He got on his knees, served his friends and humbled himself by washing their feet. So basically, He took some time out of the day to give a little pedi to all the men who he loved. Just think about how long it takes you to get a little pedi – this was not an assembly line process of dip, drip, and dry… this was a long event. He spent time with each one of those 12 men, washing their feet carefully and thoroughly, drying them with a soft towel and paying close attention to each one of his beloved 12.

Then, they shared a meal together. They talked, they ate, they spent time together, this was not just a quick drive thru McDonalds meal on your lunch break. I am sure this meal lasted a few hours. It was then at this table, he knew that one of the men he loved dearly would betray him. Think about that reality, the pain that must of stuck his heart like a knife that tries to cut thru cold butter. It must have been a pain like none other. Than, towards the end of the day, things get a little too much for him. We see him on his knees before his father saying “take this cup from me”… How many of us have ended our day like that…

I don’t want to work where I work anymore, I cannot do just one more day, it’s too much for me, take this cup from me.

I don’t think I can take just one more day of the stress life brings, take this cup from me.

I don’t think I can clean up any more toys, do any more laundry or clean any more toilets, take this cup from me.

I don’t think I can forgive him again for breaking my heart, take this cup from me.

I don’t want to cry any more tears over my precious one that went to be with you too early, I want to feel the warmth of their face upon my skin,  take this cup from me.

I don’t think I want to make my marriage work, I just cannot do it anymore, take this cup from me.

I don’t think I can forgive myself just one more time, take this cup from me.

You see, today is a good day, because today is the day that Jesus, my savior shared with me the truth about just how much he really understands me, his beloved. And that is something worth all my praise.

Today is a good day my friend, He too has had busy days that end with tears and pleading to the Father. Today is a good day, for He is good.

Jesus – I love you – enough said.

 

Cheap Shoes but an Authentic Heart

You know the feeling of when the alarm goes off and you are pretty much woken up out of a dead man’s sleep? Well, that was not my experience this morning. This morning the alarm went off and I felt like I had already been awake for a few hours. Blessings be upon my husband, every morning before he leaves for work, he turns on the light next to my side of the bed. He does this at my request mind you because it helps me get up and out of bed, well, that alone did not work this morning. I hit snooze several times until my Beloved attempted woke me up with a little reminder “We are suppose to talk this morning”…. Opps, and as sad as it may be I hit snooze one more time and rolled over. I eventually woke up 40 minutes past my first alarm and about an hour past when the light went on. Needless to say, I was richly blessed this morning. You see, my Beloved made time stand still. Oh it was a miracle. I woke up at twenty till seven. I have time to spend quality time with Him, we talked, I listened and then we embraced with a praise song. I had time to do my hair, make up, get dressed, and I even got Isaac out of bed, dressed and in the car. Did I mention I also had time to let the dog out so she could do her thing? Seriously – He made time stand still. I was early to Nana’s, we had time to talk and then it was off to work… Praises Be – He is good to me. Far better than I deserve.

So, while I lay at His feet this morning. We talked about Luke 12: 1-34. Something struck me. You see, today I decided to wear cheap paten leather shoes with a silver buckle on the toe. They have the appearance of being something expensive, they are sassy, yet reserved, they are comfortable and cute, but most of all, they have a meaning behind them. Yep, my shoes have a theological meaning behind them. So when we started our conversation in Luke today, we started talking about hypocrisy, and it was then that I knew exactly which pair of shoes I wanted to wear this morning.

According to Wikipedia, hypocrisy means acting in a manner contradictory to one’s professed beliefs and feelings, or conversely, expressing false beliefs and opinions to conceal one’s real feelings or motives. The term hypocrisy is often used in a religious context to refer to someone who gives a false appearance of virtue or religion, or does not “practice what he or she preaches“. 

My shoes today, are a perfect example of this very definition. They appear to be something other than they really are… which is why I chose to wear them. I want the constant reminder to walk with me through the day. I want to remember who I am and who matters the most, I do not want to reflect something that is anything other than the real thing, I want to be proud of my Beloved. 

 In the beginning of our conversation, Jesus is with his disciples. He wants to teach them something. He wants them to know that they must trust God and realize that they are accountable to Him. The essence of discipleship is fearing God and putting Him first. To share God’s priorities is the disciples’ call. To learn from God means to follow Him. You can sum it up in 5 simple words: Fear God and Confess Jesus.

 While I read the words of Luke, I was amazed that in the midst of growing crowds and official opposition Jesus issues a warning. The setting of his words is not insignificant. Even though people are practically crawling over one another to get to Jesus, the disciples should not be fooled by current popularity and should recall the level of opposition Jesus has faced. Popularity can breed a desire to remain popular and thus to soften the hard truth of our sinfulness before God.

And then, the truth came… Hypocrisy will not work, because everything is revealed before God. The secrets of people’s hearts will be revealed (Rom 2:15; 1 Cor 4:5). God’s omniscience means that there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. This includes words said in the dark or whispered in private rooms. In the time of Luke, a private room (tameion) was the innermost apartment in a house. So even things said deep within one’s home and mind are known to God. Even these things will be proclaimed from the housetops one day. What is done in the basement will be revealed on mountaintops. The walls we build up, the clothes we buy, the cheap yet expensive looking shoes we purchase, all are to protect our psyche and rationalize our behavior, but none can be kept form the eyes of God. And the most amazing thing about it all, He loves me regardless of what He sees. He makes time stand still for His daughter who just needed forty more minutes of pillow time. He blesses me with His peace even when I stress over the silly things. He died for me, knowing I would screw up His plan from time to time. Nothing is better than that, not even comfortable, expensive looking yet cheap, cute, black, sassy paten leather shoes with a cute silver buckle on the toe.

 Jesus – you know my shoes are cheap. You know my heart is madly in love with you. You know my deepest desire is to make you proud. Please Jesus, come today and give me the strength I need to stand proudly in my cheap shoes while I attempt to reflect You well.  Bless me with the courage to stand tall for you, to love you and reflect you in a manner that would bring you all the glory and praise. Thank you for loving me despite my flaws and failures. Thank you for your sacrifice for plan old me. I love you. Amen.

Plain Sticky Notes and Black Bow Tie Pumps

I believe you can tell a lot about a person by simply looking at two things in their life. One, the kind of sticky notes they use. Two, the kind of shoes they wear. Yep, you heard me right, I believe you can tell a lot about a person by their selection of office supplies and how they dress their feet. You see, at work I have only the plain yellow sticky notes, but if I had my choice, I would always have something different, daisies one day, pastel pinks and purples the next and on the days that I am not really “feeling it” I would have brown sticky notes. But, if my Abba picked out the sticky notes for the day, I assure you, we would never receive just the plain yellow ones they have in stock. I firmly believe if we were to get little sticky notes from our Abba, He would hand pick special sticky notes for each of His children. He would carefully select His stationary. He would not pick the same sticky note for me and my hubby, nor would He choose to place His love notes in the same location for us both.  

Just picture it for a moment, the Heavenly Father, the One who created the Heaven’s and the Earth, picking out sticky notes for His beloved. Now, if the saying “everything you love will be in Heaven” is correct, for me, there will be a very large Office Supply room, along with a very large room full of all kinds of shoes, cutes ones, sassy ones, sexy ones, practical ones, all comfortable of course and all would fit perfectly.  My Abba would open the door to the Heaven’s Office Depot, walk down isle 5, which is where all the sticky notes would be, and think “which one would speak to my beloved today”.   

Today, He would have picked out a brightly colored daisy, and written something like “I have great plans for you.” But the note would not stop there; He would give a little hint as to what those great plans are. I know, you know what I am talking about. You too have wanted just a little peek into what He has in store for you, am I right?  

Because I am not like anyone else, the sticky note He would pick out for me would not be the same as the one He would pick for my hubby, nor would hubs sticky note be the same as the one He picked out for my son. He would hand pick His stationary with careful thought. He would place it in a place that would jump out at me. You know, for the hubs, his might be on the underside of the toilet lid, first thing in the morning, he enters the bathroom to do his thing and BANG, there it is, clear as day… or it might be taped to the remote control, what man would miss that note.  

But for me, the love note left for me this morning would have been taped to the toothbrush. Because I am sure, it would have also included a little something about holding me tongue while He molds me into the woman He sees fit for His big plans…  But just imagine, when self doubt creeps in and we women start to wonder if we are beautiful, we open the make up for the morning and taped to the mascara is our love note. A few simple words “You are created in my image”, “You are wonderfully and fearfully made”, “You are my beloved”. Would that not change your day?  

Well today, His note changed my day. His word rested on my weary heart and provided such relief, the kind of relief a warm hug gives the lonely, or a delicious meal gives the hungry. Relief that will last for hours to come, it will sustain me.  If you walk around my house you will see verses taped all over the place. Some are taped to the mirrors, some above the kitchen sink, others on the refrigerator door, the pantry door, the door to the garage, They are all over. Some are neatly typed and laminated (my OCD in full swing here), some are handwritten and others are scribbled. But the point is, they are there, His word surrounds our house. Relief, peace, love and shelter consume the place we call home.  

Just as a simple note from my Abba provides relief during stressful times, self confidence during times of inner ugliness, assurance during unknown times and comfort during intense anxiety. For me, shoes also seem to be a visual path of connection to my Abba. You see, no matter where you are, you will need your shoes. My shoes are different than yours, my choice of shoes often depend on my choice of clothes or my mood rather than their level of comfort or what the weather man says the day will be like. I have been known to wear peep toe shoes in the snow and knee high boots in the summer. It just depends on what my path for the day looks like. You see, on Monday’s I will most always wear the cutest pair of shoes I can seem to find in the morning. Something to get me going and excited for the day. Today they are black pumps with a little bow on the top. I just need a little bit of beauty this morning. I needed something to remind me that no matter where I walk, my Abba has created a beautiful plan for me. One that is filled with the unknown, yet peaceful. One that might bring moments of discomfort, mostly because the shoes for today are cute, not comfortable. But that is also true with life, with my walk with my Abba has some days that are good days, those come with cute moments yet also with moments of discomfort… And then the days that are just “tennis shoe days”. You know the type. The days that seem to need pure comfort, no style is required, no make is applied, no attention given to the hair, just comfort. Plain comfort is all that will get us through the day. Those are the days that I get home from work, take my work clothes off, not even hanging them back up to prevent re-washing and ironing and crawl into my most comfortable, ugly and holy comfort clothes. My favorites, and at that moment, a breath of fresh air consumes me and I am at peace.  

For now… I will walk with Him in my pretty black pumps adorned with tiny bows and remember that the plain yellow sticky notes I have at work do not truly reflect who I am nor do they reflect the plans my Abba has in store for me. I will walk in His comfort and peace even amidst my uncomfortable and stressful moments. I will be reminded of my unique and beautiful path, my Abba has set in motion, during the day, simply by looking at plain yellow sticky notes and pretty black pumps adorned with tiny bows. Have a great day my friends.

 

Abba – I love you. I praise you, All the glory be Yours. Enough said. Amen.